humanity
Mental health is a fundamental right; the future of humanity depends on it.
Suicide Ideation Awareness Costume
Content Warning: Suicide, cutting, and some graphics. Hi :) My name is Nicole, and since this is my first entry on Vocal ((I've been dying to start an account for years,)) I thought maybe I should start this by telling you a little bit about myself ((start with the lighter traumas before we dive into the deep end.)) I am a 35 yr old cis female living with Schizophrenia, Complex PTSD, and Dissociative Identity Disorder. I am extremely driven by my creativity- and I also use it to heal through "Art Therapy," which is something I will probably want to talk more about as time goes on. Art Therapy is the biggest reason I still feel like a person, with hopes to function better, more and more as time goes on. My main creative outlets are fashion, music, and writing-- hence the reason Vocal caught my eye in the first place. Most of what I write about here in the future will probably be about living with my disorders and the things I am trying to do in order to prevent my symptoms from worsening more than they already have as of recently. My hope is to spend my lifetime essentially creating as much awareness as possible through the channel that is me in the times I am able to- about important topics such as mental health, suicide ideation, art therapy, and anything else that I struggle with and things I have found to help with that struggle or ease the pain. Since I was diagnosed at 17, I have treated myself as my own science experiment ((I have an Associates Degree in Science)) and I have been actively studying what it means to have the mental illnesses I have, and everything I can do to try and live a life as high functioning as possible. My plans are to finish writing a book about these things, and also launch a docu-series on what its like to live with schizophrenia, cptsd, and DID in particular- as I have been filming for 5 years+. My biggest goal is to open my own facility one day that helps people deal with mental illness, suicide ideation, addiction, and extensive trauma with a focus on child molestation. I have about a million ideas and a million different things I would like to do with the life I have been given- but I am hindered greatly lately by the worsening of my condition. For example- I feel like uploading on this platform will help me to compile everything a little bit better for the book I would like to finish and release one day, but I have developed speech problems as my schizophrenia has worsened in the past 5 years or so. Usually. i type like. this. so that. i can use. the periods. as "stops" for me to "stop" and take a breath and focus . on how to get. the next word. out. instead. of getting frustrated. and quitting. and going. mute. This also essentially. happens when. I speak out. loud- causing me to pause. often in between. words. or phrases. Thankfully for you- I also suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder- and I know how to edit out the periods that give me uncontrollable anxiety about the way they must look and how hard it must be to read that way! So I will do what I can in order to edit to the best of my ability, but i might not fuss so much over the "i'"s being capitalized- i hope thats okay :)
By Nicole Monet Quinn5 years ago in Psyche
Coming home to your soul
Agreeing to things just to keep the peace is a trauma response and so is the need to stay busy all the time. I wish someone would have told me that earlier so I could have begun my healing journey sooner. Children who grow up with broken foundations often do not know that they have deep hidden trauma and feelings of worthlessness in their minds. The whole ‘I am not good enough’ record playing at the back of your mind whenever something good happens to you or is offered to you, holds you back in life on multiple occasions. I don’t think that I ever wanted anyone’s sympathy, I just wanted people to understand. I craved the love I gave, and I expected it from the ones who could not give it to me. Maybe that’s why now I know what love is. Another thing that I did not realize earlier on was that if something is for you, whether it is a relationship, a job, or a friendship you will not have to force it.
By Devika Pathak5 years ago in Psyche
Rem
It was cloudy in the bar. It had recently acquired new management and they were apparently going for an angsty, gothic vibe. Patrons waded through a foot and a half of artificial fog in the low light. You’d think we were all vampires upon entry, but in truth, there might have been one or two, the first being the owner. Most of us were pretty dark and broody anyway though, so it was fitting. Being an unregistered Mags was a lonely life and the only safe place was the bar, so, naturally, we were all drunks.
By Max Malone5 years ago in Psyche
Agents of Socialization
Genie, sometimes referred to as the 'wild child', was a girl found at 13 years old in Los Angeles on November 4, 1970 who had been raised in near total isolation, even from other people in her family. It was a shock to her neighbors who never knew she existed. Genie was found locked in a room and tied to a potty chair where she sat in the dark all day, ate, and slept. Living in this room, there was little to no stimulus to allow her to learn or develop areas of her brain. She never learned how to speak, as no one spoke to her and was barely able to walk. Her father had locked her in that room once he began to suspect she was mentally retarded and would then after beat her for making any noise. After being found out he committed suicide. Once she was found, many researches of different fields such as psychology, psychiatry, and linguistics took notice and proceeded to study her development and teach her as much a they could. She was finally able to explore the world around her and behaved as a toddler would, intensely staring, touching, and rubbing some items on her face. She started to show emotion and speak, learning 100 words by spring. Susan Curtis was the main authority on teaching Genie how to speak and all the words she needed to know. One of the researchers, Butler, decided to take Genie in for the duration of the research, but was denied to be her permanent foster parent, so David Riddler and his wife stepped in. Genie now had children around her as well as adults. Because Genie had never been able to learn by watching or doing, she had to be taught almost everything, including how to throw a tantrum before she could express herself in words. Eventually the data that had been gathered was found to be too ambiguous and funding was cut. Genie could no longer stay with the Riddler's so they found a home for her. Unfortunately, her mother was found to be a victim of Genie’s father as well was acquitted of child abuse charges and wanted to care for Genie herself. This soon proved itself too difficult and Genie was bounced between often abusive foster homes. In the end her vocabulary was wide, but she could not form grammatically correct sentences and did not walk as a normal young adult would. She now lives in an adult care home in California. Her tragic story shows the importance of familial socialization and its physical, mental, and social effects on children.
By Ace Magnolia5 years ago in Psyche
Disguised
Almost 2 years ago, she yearned for love . Coming out of something more than toxic . Abuse , pain , confusion, it was all a wreck. You ever wish you could get a slight preview of what you’re getting yourself into before actually getting into it ? Yeah .. that was her. In fact she’d scroll her page , Oh ! And yes I mean her , she loved women , just as much as women claimed they love her. Continuing on , she’d scroll her page and view her past , past as in others before her , what she likes , what she’s into just everything anyone would want to know about someone they had their interest in . She was pretty cool . Her name was Alice . See Alice loves social media , she love making people laugh and just notice her , and what she could do. She as in Porcha realized Alice pain , no attention, past trauma and so on but there wasn’t anything Porcha could not fix .
By thelifeofpre _5 years ago in Psyche
You're Not a "Broken Person"
I was talking with a coworker when I asked, "Do you ever feel like there is a barrier between your brain and your body? Like they are functioning independently from one another, and you're just floating through life?" I was shocked when they said, "No."
By Austin Harvey5 years ago in Psyche
