Doechii Will Not Apologize For Disliking Cats

I don’t like cats. I like the idea of them; they’re independent, agile, and selfish. All traits that a human being should hold. However, as domesticated animals, they’re nasty, overbearing, and insolent despite their furry (sometimes), cuddly demeanor.

Doechii has come under Internet scorched earth holy hell fire for disliking them as well, just for different reasons. Cats are the epitome of being a mighty presence in the wild. Feral types can hunt and kill and make shelters for themselves. Humans need not be involved in their escapades.

For the recording artist to voice her distaste for cats puts into serious jeopardy her streaming numbers and award show appearances. America and the world love cats. The thought of them is actually a good one if left outside of the house. They have a certain appeal that borders on obsession with some people. And people like Tyler, the Creator adore them because he’s allergic to dogs.

I don’t particularly like dogs in the house, either. They’re loyal, friendly, and curious but like cats, they belong in the wild. The closest I’ll get to having a pet in the house is either a domesticated snake of some sort or a hamster. Of course, the house in which I live already has an assortment of fish swimming by in the water.

So, no, cats and dogs and other animals too, (really so many to name), do not belong as co-inhabitants with humans. Especially cats. They have an air of “yes I messed on your floor instead of the box. What are you going to do about it?”

Dogs at least look glum most of the time and have a sense of remorse. Cats lack this capacity. They’re focused on shuffling through the house as their ancestors did in Egypt. They expect to be taken care of and shown the possibility of having dinner ready for them with all the trimmings, just so later they can have an “accident” on the carpet again.

As Doechii wades through this morass of ideals about cats, she should consider the fact she is going to lose a percentage of her supporter base. She probably doesn’t care (and shouldn’t) based on her own integrity. It’s important to note that we live in a country where we can argue about the merits or detriments of cats. “There’s a war going on outside” and we’re sitting here discussing whether a kitten should play with a plastic Minion or not.

That’s powerful. When we can talk about the cat and its position in Internet culture especially, that is the harbinger of a greater day for America. Millions of people are starving around the world and hundreds of thousands in this country seek succor, but our conversation concerns the distinctions between what Doechii has to say about the feline specimen. Count that as a win for the United States.

We have the military might to protect us from the onslaught of Iranian firepower. The Chinese seem skittish about their position in trade routes dealing with the aforementioned ailing nation. Yet, we still wish to pontificate about the wonders of the latest self-cleaning kitty litter box.

What Doecii even fails to understand is that people should not have cats in the house because they are used to the wild. To domesticate them would be to show they’re not naturally specified to belong outdoors.

This fallacy extends through millennia where cats have been kept as house pets. Their overall appeal is what drives most people to own them. Doechii just maintains she doesn’t like cats because “they’re not friendly.” It runs deeper than that. That’s actually a fine characteristic compared to snarling dogs who will bite a hole in your face if provoked. This all stemming from their wolf ancestors.

Cats come from lions, leopards, tigers, puma, cheetahs, and other cats because they are the big cats. That little furball under the couch in your cousin’s house actually descended from them. They share almost identical DNA. They're supposed to be running among them, free as broken chains that clatter to the floor.