Can Adult Children Lessen Anxiety about Parents While Raising Kids & Teens?

I'm a proud Baby Boomer, born in 1958, which makes me 67-years-old. When I was 12, there was a song called: "How Can I Tell My Mom and Dad".

That controversial song by a group known as The Lovelites, spoke about a teenage girl who had gotten "in trouble" with a boy - as they used to say back then.

Translation: She was pregnant and about to be an unwed mother.

The lyrics ask the question: "How can I tell my mom and dad that I've been bad? Will they understand…?"

I was just a kid, but I understood what the song was about, and even way back then as a child, I could comprehend the anxiety the singer sung about, when trying to figure out how to have such a hard conversation with her parents.

Of course I'd never been in that kind of situation myself, but I knew what it was like to broach a subject with a parent and be petrified about the outcome.

There are probably one or two times from your own childhood, when you were afraid to talk to your mother and father about something.

Can you recall the anxiety you felt, whether you did something wrong and was afraid to confess, or you had something important going on and you needed permission?

As we all get older - children and parents - it's not unusual to find that adult children can still experience the same anxiety about broaching serious topics. 

Discussions can become even more difficult, yet more necessary, when some kind of time constraint is involved.

Just like in the case of the young girl in the song, waiting too long could be disastrous.

Relationships between parents and kids are often complex at any age; in part, because of the distance in years between them, which will always exist.

That song I referenced was released January 1, 1970. It's been more than 50 years, yet I doubt that any young girl in the same position has ever found an easy answer to the question.

By now you might be thinking: That's interesting, but what does it have to do with stressed out millennials and the responsibilities they're currently drowning in?

What tip can I offer, to help relieve even a little of the pressure?

Keep reading and you'll see the connection, as I talk about helping to decrease anxiety, by making time to have a hard conversation that tend to be put off until the last minute.

Why Millennials are drowning in anxiety

Referring to millennials (born between 1981 and 1996) as being stressed out due to the obligations they take on these days, is an understatement.

Between caring for kids and teens, and also navigating and caring for aged parents; being sandwiched in and mentally on-call is a 24-hour job.

Is there any wonder that there's often a substantial degree of anxiety for adult children who find themselves in the sandwich category?

These are busy people trying to raise a family and address the day-to-day challenges of child rearing, and dealing with adolescents and teenagers. 

Now add to that, the stress that comes with ongoing health and safety issues and concerns about their elderly parents. 

In fact, in 2026, it seems that anxiety over the future of aged parents is becoming more of a challenge than child rearing and teen related issues.

While my generation can certainly appreciate the turnabout that happens in life, and having our children worry about us for a change, sometimes, and in some situations, it can be a bit much.

Being unfamiliar with how to navigate their new role as "parent to their parents", some Millennials go overboard and quite possibly bring on some of that anxiety on themselves.

Not because they exaggerate the degree of responsibility that's put upon them. That part is real. 

With high medicare costs, expensive housing and high costs of living in general, the additional burden of paying for senior facilities of some type, can often break the bank for many families.

Finances, among other things, is probably always going to be one of the more weightier issues.

So how exactly can these stressed and mentally burdened individuals get at least a little relief from anxiety about parents and older loved ones?

The answer lies in the conversations you're willing to have.

The hard question of what to do about elderly parents

Whether you're adult children of senior citizens or you're an elderly person yourself, the topic of future long-term senior care is one you can't get around addressing at some point. 

Many families are starting to appreciate the fact that this is a much needed conversation; one that should be talked about well in advance of the actual need for it.

Even if you don't currently need to settle on a decision about senior housing such as assisted or independent living, it still makes sense to get the answers you may end up needing, in a timely way.

Some individuals might be reading these words and thing to themselves: 

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll start looking into options for mom and dad."

While that's definitely the right attitude to have, that's not necessarily the best first step to take.

Research has shown that there's a strong need to involve aging parents when it comes to decisions regarding their care, their health, and their living arrangements.

So the real 1st step, even before you start shopping around and looking into options, should be to bring the subject up with those who'll be affected the most - the senior (s).

The reason this is so beneficial, is because it helps to preserve the seniors' dignity and autonomy, leading to a better quality of life.

Naturally, safety is and should be the number one concern, but that's where balance comes in.

Everyone concerned and involved in the decision making process has got to understand that whatever is decided, safety and independence have to go hand in hand.

If seniors and their loved ones can all appreciate this concept, it's more likely to help reduce a lot of anxiety in the long run, especially for the already mentally overloaded adult children.

The bottom line…

Do what you can to help your elderly parents, grandparents, or whichever seniors you care about. But don't underestimate the value and the need for them to help you in the decision making process.

Final Thoughts

Naturally, some families have situations where the elderly individuals may no longer be of sound mind for whatever reason.

But don't underestimate their ability to help still, when it comes to making the right decision about their future. 

If they can't make legal or medical decisions, or even practical choices about their living arrangements, they can still aid you in knowing what they like and don't like, and what things make them happy.

Just keep in mind that their happiness is not only important to you, but it's also important for them and for their livelihood and quality of life.

No, it may not be easy; finding ways to talk to your mom and dad about the serious subjects related to aging and longevity. But doing it sooner than later will relieve a burden you may not even be aware you're carrying.

...And God forbid, what happens if your elderly parents outlive you?

So, for the benefit of your aged parents, and to possibly rid you of even a little anxiety, why not give it a try? Have a talk with the folks.