I See

I wish I could tell you it wasn’t fear that drove me into the oblivion. But, it was how I was placed in the world. Let me explain, I was given a duty a task so to speak. A task to show the world that demons do exist and if a demon exist than what would counteract a demon, how could I fight them? Me? All by myself? Does that mean I’m the opposite of a demon? Was I an angel?

I see demons, I see them on people easily. This isn’t some kind of gift in fact it’s a hardship. It’s hard because I have to deal with it. I get to feel, sense, and sometimes see the demon on people. It isn’t really them that is angry it what the demon is feeding them. Why do they believe these demons? Cause they are deceiving and not everyone has the smarts to disprove the demon. Not everyone wants to believe a demon is there with them because then it’s an automatic something is wrong with me or I can handle it myself. When in truth, you can only handle so much. That’s the thing about the deception of the world. You’re glorified for being an independent queen as if you were a god or something. When in fact, they don’t really love you like Jesus does. Just because I see demons doesn’t mean I’m an angel or something kind of special human. I get attacked by them too and have to call upon the one who can save me. The only one, Yeshua.

A demon came for me when I was a little girl told me my family didn’t love me and as a child you believe it. So, I grew up wanting their love so deeply that I became who they wanted me to be just so I could be loved. I became quiet, a good listener, and smart for them. However, when God came to me and said this is not really who you are. I was diagnosed with an illness. One where god has told me things and Jesus has visited me. One where demons try to seek me out and deceive.

When I was 25 it came again and tried to suffocate me tell me thing about this world and my family that were not true. Tried to shrink me in size. Tried to cause fear in my mind. Tried to cause hate in my heart. I have with gods grace and Jesus love over came the demon that attacked me in a way that he doesn’t come for me anymore. However, it says the closer you get to Jesus the more they attack. I’m ready for them and prepared with Jesus my best friend to take them on.

I’m not special but I am chosen. I’m chosen because he says I am and I fall short all the time. I’m writing this to say that I’ve been forgotten by the ones whom I thought loved me so. I’m not saying there is no love there. I’m saying I have to realize that they are merely human and they will fall short as well. But Jesus will never fall short. I love him for that.

I’ve decided to believe in him and I fully. I’ve decided to grow up. I am a daughter of god and I’m proud to be on this side of love. It is the only way I can be free. It is the only way I can love again. It is the only way to be wonderfully made.

Thank you for reading and may god bless you.’